Saturday, November 25, 2006

10+ ideas to propose a girl

Warning: Resemblance to any character living or dead is purely coincidental. Author does not hold any responsibility whatsoever. Read at your own risk.

Credits: Team Midnight Masala( Heman, K-Arthi -K, Raj"KMC"esh and Myself)

A guy likes a girl and plans to propose her. He goes to consult some of his gurus. Replies are as below:
P1: There could be 4 scenarios. First find out you want to be in which quadrant. Once you are clear it is very easy to act.

P 2: Have a FGD in boys’ hostel and identify the variables. Now make an exploratory questionnaire and ask her to rate these attributes on a scale of 1-5. Now do factor analysis and find out the factors. Prepare a final questionnaire and ask her to fill it up. Do the analysis and you will come to know whether she loves you or not. (And he did it). Then go and propose her. If she tries to say anything, you ask her “Quite Please”

Earlier years I use to propose on behalf of guys, but now due to lack of time and theme system, I have stopped. May be if time permits, I will start it in the future.

P 3: Weather is bad today. It may rain. So wait till sky clears. By the time, Go to page number 412 question number 213 of “Love ke liye kuch bhi karege” authored by love guru and try to understand it. You will get the solution of your problem.

P 4: It’s like this; in G2G (Guy to Girl) context the power rests in the hand of girl. So you ask her to issue a tender. Then you bid your proposal. You never know on the day of bid opening you find other lovers of that girl, waiting in the same garden. So quote your best proposal and pursue it aggressively.

P 5: This girl’s tips I have given in the last class. How to propose her friend, those tips I will teach in the next class. In today’s class you will be presenting BSA on proposal layout, and scheduling.

P 6: By and large, first tell me you want “a” girl or “the” girl. Have you done self exploration? First find out your anchors. Then align these anchors, with your values. Your values do not change so is your MBTI type. See whether your values match with her values.

P 7: What Amma!! All Big words. Tell me the name of the girl amma. I will go and propose (Profound propose amma)

P 8: Please enlighten me. May be it is my ignorance, I don’t know how to propose a girl. I believe because of influence of many western companies we are loosing the indigenous knowledge of proposing girls. Anyway, take her to Kerala and gift her 1 KG of Tapioca, she herself will fall in your arms.

P 9: Proposing a girl is highly technical. Let me codify it for you. First you come out of your shy ego mode. Then use your antenna to send her signals. If her antenna is strong enough, she will catch your signal.

P 10: First ask her WHY Love? Then keep on explaining her till she says yes

P 11: See, the logic of proposing is very simple. But you have to be very very careful. First you do a literature survey, 25 research articles on proposal minimum. You can take help of your friends and acknowledge them but they must contribute significantly and genuinely. Now you prepare a draft copy. Everything should be in one paragraph. No bullet points. Then you explain the conceptual framework of proposal. Then do an empirical analysis on how many proposals were successful and you see the efficiency of that girl whether she reacts instantaneously or she takes some time to react. Look at Beta, sensitivity of that girl. If Beta (sensitivity of that girl) is high then it means girl will fall in love with you (as returns are higher) but you may land up in hospital as risk is also higher and vice versa.

P 12: S e e ..........f I r s t.............. appreciate .............h e r ........then

P 13: Love per se means nothing. First you should segment the market, then target a girl and have a solid positioning with clear PODs and POPs.

P 14:

First learn how to propose a girl in French.

Calculate how much environmental waste will be saved because of your love affaire.

Start a program to save environment.

She will be impressed by you and will propose herself.

P 15: Feedback. Keep on asking her for feedback till either she suicides or accepts you.

P16: It’s a question of inter-temporal choice. You do not propose today in the anticipation that you will gain in the future by getting a better girl. But if your future outlook is not very good then you might as well propose today. You might also consider options and swaps also because it is a question of futures.

Shaks in Good mood