For a worthy cause

Choosing something to write on my blog is as difficult for me as probably it is for a babe to select a dress for her first date. I mean in both the cases, so many thoughts going on at a time, zeroing on one is one hell of a job. But stakes are low in blogging so I don't need to take views from half of my friends/ acquaintance to decide on what to do.

One Fine morning, I got a call from my college senior that I have scrapped some indecent message in the scrapbook of his wife. He was a reasonable man and he understood that somebody has hacked my mail-account . But how unreasonable was the guy who posted some really indecent scraps to so many of my frns. Somehow, I got hold of my account and had to choose a password which was as difficult to remember as it is to pronounce Massachusetts . I tried doing some damage control by sending a mass mail but I really don't know how helpful it was. At once, I was of the view to just shut down my Orkut account. But then I took a clue from our ministers, they never resign even if they are at fault So why should I, when it is not my fault.

I was trying to make a mental sketch of the dude who made me a topic of discussion among people. But the only image I could think of was of Shahrukh Khan of kkkiran fame. You have to be half psycho to do anything like that. It does not make sense to blame a psycho for anything, he needs sympathy. Hey Psycho, If you are reading, please contact me. I am ready to finance your treatment. Anyway, I was planning to donate some money and I would be more than happy to spend on such a worthy cause.

I

Today( Now it is already over 20 days), I got my first salary, feeling good. also Met few of my good old friends. Had a small get together. There is one thing that has still not changed amongst us that we like each other for the persons we are. For me that is most important thing in a friendship.

In last one month, one word that I hated most is tax and loved most is beer.

Some people should learn to laugh without any pre-conditions. It's not that difficult.

I still love ghazals more than any kind of music. Given a chance, I would like to open a pub with ghazals as a music. I was wary of the idea as I wont get any customers till my idea got reinforced when I met my first assured customer over the mirror.

I dont understand how come somebody have mundane aim of life such as saving money and finds happiness in living a life full of empty glasses of their favourite drinks.

One desire, I have is to dissapear from bangalore without any plan over a weekend and do some real adventure stuff.

Old Wine in New Bottle

Few months back I got my head shaved to the next best thing > bald. Ya, I mean it looked like leg of a girl with due An-french . I realized the consequence pretty late and by the time my head was ready to serve as a public property with a lot of fingers waiting for Nirvana. My plight was like Ganguly trying to play Shoaib Akhtar.Only Saving grace was that the disc on my head had only stack entry( I mean guys) and cover charges for gals. AAkhirkar, Ijjat ka jo mamla tha. My new aim for life was to have some on-job experience of agriculture. I was taken by surprize when few distant cousins of Anu Malik took it as a style and one of them finally copied it without fail.

Arre copying se yaad aaya, we are taught to call it process reengineering in MBA as we not only copy but poke our nose doing the same thing. Like an assignment of 20 pages will become a summary of 2 page by the time it reaches the last guy. I mean, a saving of 18 important pages to protect trees -> reducing global warming. That is when the vision of an MBA graduates converts into a tele-vision. The guys will use his saved time discussing on the life of human beings in primitve age when there were Peters in england without any peter england and no restriction for anything whatsoever-xyz.

Colors Unlimited

Thou shall eat in Mess

(All names changed to maintain confidentiality)

Today, Shrianant would be the happiest soul in Manipal. Why not? At last his clinical trials have passed successfully and soon whole world would be able to taste Papad chapatti. As the name suggests, Papad chapatti is a delicious hybrid of Chapati and Papad.

Not only Shrianant but all the members of our mess will be in the books for all good reasons. After so many years, a new Indian dish on global scene. For me, it is a great feeling to be part of this whole exercise. For last one and half years, my taste buds were delighted by this tasty hybrid of Roti.

One more recipe that our mess has developed is Halua Manchurian. It is India’s answer to the east. It is a Manchurian (Veg, gobhi or any other) that is so soft that it will melt in your mouth on touching your tongue. Your tooth won’t even come to know. I know you are jealous of me. But what can I do if God is biased.

There is one good thing that we are never charged anything extra other than the fixed cost for consuming any of the items reserved for clinical trials. Devana has a philosophy that a country can grow only by research and development. That is why all trial stuff is not at any additional price. And to discourage our routine habits, he charges a nominal price on the traditional food and calls it extra to remind us that we should not deviate from participating in evolution of new recipes.

To be continued…………

Memories at TAPMI

Credits: Pady

Branded Marriages

Generally, marriage is a costly affaire and a cost center in accounting terms. I believe there is an immense opportunity of using a marriage for advertising. Today, when media have so much of clutter, it is one space which is still not at all explored.

I am thinking of getting my marriage sponsored (after 2-3 years) by some matrimonial site. Jeevansaathi.com presents Shakun weds XYZ. Sounds crazy Na. But it is a win-win for both parties. My cost center i.e. marriage will become a profit center and Jeevansaathi.com (or any other brand) will get a lot of publicity at very nominal prices. I hope local dailies will cover it and that again will help the brand.

There is a possibility of other sponsorships. Like for food sponsored by some rice brand, Orchestra sponsored by a music company, games sponsored by a gaming site, makeup sponsored by loreal, and photography by Kodak and there are a lot of things that can be sponsored.

Also, a new marriage t-shirt can be released. It can be bought at a nominal price. Accessories related to marriage. I mean marriage will also become a shopping place other than the rituals in which people are least interested.


Disclaimer: This article has nothing to do with me being a bania. This is just a crazy idea.

Blah Blah.......

It's all crazy stuff. Wrote Sometime back.

All oldies are jealous of the gen-nex guys. In the past, they hardly got an opportunity to observe and enjoy opulence of human anatomy as we do today. I doubt that there is any instrument to measure eyeball movement. Probably it is difficult to device one as oldies eyeball defies all laws of kinetics on seeing a babe.

Indian cricket team is more unpredictable than monsoon. Its performance can be used instead of a binary random function.

What it takes not to perform in a cricket match:

tummy equivalent to a 3 months pregnant
alertness of a person waiting desperately to sleep
tension of an ad shoot next day
Style to justify fielding
Readymade reasons to blame pitch
Paramount importance for time.


Year 2050, Pan Shops are the most attractive business proposition. A recent survey reveals that 80% of pan shops are owned by the people from general category. Panwaalas are hindering India’s quest to achieve equality in its social structure. All political parties are in favor of reservation for pan shops. They are also demanding not opening up this sector for MNCs.

There is perceived danger as the rate of spitting at public places is reducing and entry of foreign companies can further have a negative impact on it. Few parties are taking it in a big way .They never filled any color in their posters and used pan spitters instead. Almost 87,000 people are employed in this activity. FDI in pan sector will endanger the bread, butter and pan of these people.

No offences Meant

Shaks

10+ ideas to propose a girl

Warning: Resemblance to any character living or dead is purely coincidental. Author does not hold any responsibility whatsoever. Read at your own risk.


Credits: Team Midnight Masala( Heman, K-Arthi -K, Raj"KMC"esh and Myself)

A guy likes a girl and plans to propose her. He goes to consult some of his gurus. Replies are as below:

P1: There could be 4 scenarios. First find out you want to be in which quadrant. Once you are clear it is very easy to act.

P 2: Have a FGD in boys’ hostel and identify the variables. Now make an exploratory questionnaire and ask her to rate these attributes on a scale of 1-5. Now do factor analysis and find out the factors. Prepare a final questionnaire and ask her to fill it up. Do the analysis and you will come to know whether she loves you or not. (And he did it). Then go and propose her. If she tries to say anything, you ask her “Quite Please”

Earlier years I use to propose on behalf of guys, but now due to lack of time and theme system, I have stopped. May be if time permits, I will start it in the future.

P 3: Weather is bad today. It may rain. So wait till sky clears. By the time, Go to page number 412 question number 213 of “Love ke liye kuch bhi karege” authored by love guru and try to understand it. You will get the solution of your problem.

P 4: It’s like this; in G2G (Guy to Girl) context the power rests in the hand of girl. So you ask her to issue a tender. Then you bid your proposal. You never know on the day of bid opening you find other lovers of that girl, waiting in the same garden. So quote your best proposal and pursue it aggressively.

P 5: This girl’s tips I have given in the last class. How to propose her friend, those tips I will teach in the next class. In today’s class you will be presenting BSA on proposal layout, and scheduling.

P 6: By and large, first tell me you want “a” girl or “the” girl. Have you done self exploration? First find out your anchors. Then align these anchors, with your values. Your values do not change so is your MBTI type. See whether your values match with her values.

P 7: What Amma!! All Big words. Tell me the name of the girl amma. I will go and propose (Profound propose amma)

P 8: Please enlighten me. May be it is my ignorance, I don’t know how to propose a girl. I believe because of influence of many western companies we are loosing the indigenous knowledge of proposing girls. Anyway, take her to Kerala and gift her 1 KG of Tapioca, she herself will fall in your arms.

P 9: Proposing a girl is highly technical. Let me codify it for you. First you come out of your shy ego mode. Then use your antenna to send her signals. If her antenna is strong enough, she will catch your signal.

P 10: First ask her WHY Love? Then keep on explaining her till she says yes

P 11: See, the logic of proposing is very simple. But you have to be very very careful. First you do a literature survey, 25 research articles on proposal minimum. You can take help of your friends and acknowledge them but they must contribute significantly and genuinely. Now you prepare a draft copy. Everything should be in one paragraph. No bullet points. Then you explain the conceptual framework of proposal. Then do an empirical analysis on how many proposals were successful and you see the efficiency of that girl whether she reacts instantaneously or she takes some time to react. Look at Beta, sensitivity of that girl. If Beta (sensitivity of that girl) is high then it means girl will fall in love with you (as returns are higher) but you may land up in hospital as risk is also higher and vice versa.

P 12: S e e ..........f I r s t.............. appreciate .............h e r ........then ...............pro..pose

P 13: Love per se means nothing. First you should segment the market, then target a girl and have a solid positioning with clear PODs and POPs.

P 14:

First learn how to propose a girl in French.

Calculate how much environmental waste will be saved because of your love affaire.

Start a program to save environment.

She will be impressed by you and will propose herself.

P 15: Feedback. Keep on asking her for feedback till either she suicides or accepts you.

P16: It’s a question of inter-temporal choice. You do not propose today in the anticipation that you will gain in the future by getting a better girl. But if your future outlook is not very good then you might as well propose today. You might also consider options and swaps also because it is a question of futures.

Shaks in Good mood

Kudlu Falls

(This is one of the very few veg pics that I can post)

I have also uploaded a video at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sG8pQHOvNv8.

Praveen has recently posted description of trip to kudlu. Not much elaborated but then I dont know how could somebody describe a 6 letter word call Heaven.

Will soon try to post detailed version of my trip to Chiplun, Marleshwar and Valveashwar. May god give me enough patience and time.Amen

Life is on

Forgeteos

In a failed attempt to glamorize my habit of forgetting things I thought forgeteos would be right title for this post. My friends keep on suggesting me numerous possible ways not to forget, but I am more comfortable in forgetting those tecks than probably my innerwear at my friends place. I was always confident that I can’t loose anything special till I forgot my wallet in the pocket of my pent. I hope that I haven’t reached that stage where losing a wallet having some glued notes, is not important for me.

Thanks to my promptness that helped me in entertaining my batch mates with a satirical mail directed towards an unknown thief. But the replies were even more entertaining. (Yet nobody suggested for a marathon to recover that money). On the other hand, I didn’t block my debit/credit cards in a hope that the resultant of my forgetfulness and laziness can be assumed as smartness if an irrational soul stirred by my strong words and moved by my unintentionally torn jeans returns it back. My time table now looked more filled with timing for cursing the thief twice a day first before dinner and second after dinner. I never knew god is listening to my words so carefully, till I was bereft of almost all of the pleasures of life. All this aroused my hidden treasure. Before you start imagining something else let me tell you I am talking about my commonsense. This arousal was shortlived as my commonsense was on casual leave. Amidst all this, I saw a ray of hope in an advertisement of Mentos. Thanks to my smoker friends that I didn’t have to undergo agony of begging in front of temple to buy a Mentos. Mentos supplied required electricity to light up my mind. The ray coming out of my mind struck my purse. My life would have been easier now but thunder short-circuited my dimag again and what more this time, fuse was gone. For last few days, I am waiting desperately for my commonsense to come back and takeover my mind.

Better be a Jackass

Veeraj says “You should be a jackass to get what you want!!!” I wouldn’t have agreed to it a few years back. But now after wasting so many years on mother earth, I can very well understand the underlying concept, coming from his wisdom.

Sometimes one is conscious of what people will think about him if he does certain things. Self- Image thing comes to mind. He tries to act in a certain way only to address his own comfort with all the people around. This translates into not taking a stance, dilution of passion, hesitation to approach etc. After all this conscious approach he still ends up annoying few people; forget his own ambitions in life. He is no better than an asshole.

It is better to pursue what you want with unmatched passion and no care for what others will think. If you want to pursue something you should be mad after it. For such an approach to things, one has to be fully convinced. It is our inner self that we are not able to convince most of the times. You should have faith in what you want to pursue. There should not be any inhibitions for exploring uncharted spaces.

Once you feel you are convinced, your next job is to induce others. You should have passion to persuade others to favor you. It’s a small and only life and there is no point is bowing down to stubborn outlook of public. You should be a Jackass in short. You should not try to be nice to everybody. By doing this, you will end up nowhere. Here one must is not to make everything an issue of self esteem. Nobody else cares for your self esteem; it’s only you.

Bill Gates has rightly said “The world won't care about your self-esteem. The world will expect you to accomplish something before you feel good about yourself.”

Muted Admirations

At times, you meet few people and become admirer of them. You love doing whatever they do, you understand their actions, you can’t listen anything against them and have all your arguments ready to defend them in public. We all are fan of one or another celebrity but they are out of reach to us in most of the cases.

Things are different when people we like are within our reach. Sometimes they are none other than the people we meet in our day to day life. I could be die hard followers of one of my colleague. Anybody else may not consider him/ her to be attractive enough but then as a matter of fact we all have different tastes. Such closes by contacts are personal most of the times (so called spiritual love, best friends, one night stands etc). Once in a blue moon, you just see few people and want to talk to them. You may get a chance if you are lucky enough or you can create a chance. But there is always a fear that these meetings may change your perception of that person. He or she may be totally different in his/her personal life than what you perceive his/ her to be.

One way to avoid this disappointment is that you don’t approach them. I will call it Muted Admirations. Firstly, you may not have any intention to have any personal linkages. Secondly, you don’t feel need of telling it to others and then justifying your viewpoint. Thirdly and most importantly, you are not ready to break this delusion at any cost.

Till date, I had 2 such admirations. The first one when I was in Ninth standard. This guy use to be my college mate and tuitions mate. I had my own circle of friends and he had his own. I rarely chatted with him but I admired him from the bottom of my heart. I liked every aspect of his personality, from hair style to the way he used to talk. To be frank, I wanted to be just like him. I tried to imitate him. I used to listen a lot of things about him some positive and others negative. The day I tried to befriend R, onwards was painful. Now I came to know how wrong I was. I forgot all those good things about him. I paid for not keeping my admirations muted and maintaining the distance.

My second admiration is from work-ex. In DAKC, I saw this female quite a lot, serendipitously most of the time. I don’t know but I liked everything about her. I made a mistake by telling it to my friends. Then my daily classes started. But I was pretty sure this time that this is more a respect for her than anything else. I didn’t have any intentions for friendship, love or any professional relationship. But, I admired her like anything. To mention a few, I liked her dressing sense, composure, smile and activeness. I never got (and created) any opportunity to talk to her as I was very fussy of not breaking this delusion of mine at any cost.

NOISE n SPIKES

Listening to “Sach ye hai bekar hame gam hota hai”. Whenever I feel empty and feel like losing all my energy, I take shelter of gazals, my bad times friend.

Today, I am getting a feel of losing something/ someone close to me. Don’t know why?? No reasons as such. My actions are dull, life boring. Every second of this eve is killing me from inside. I am in no mood of sharing it with anybody.

Monotony is killing me. Life is going straight. Nothing great is happening. Everything is as usual.

At times I behave like a guy who is just 16 years old and will do all nonsense and at times I am a mature guy getting ready to become a professional. One side is what I love doing, and what I have to be.

I do not understand why people loose there innocence with the passage of life. Is it really difficult?? I don’t think so.

MBA is commonsense. Can somebody teach you? You can only be informed.

I feel most of the people around me are doing all possible non-sense to get some grades. Very few are really trying to shape their thought process.

I have always believed in reconciling opposites (Eve in temple and night at bar)

I have got so many ideas but no time to write. On top of it my pathetic writing skills. It pains when somebody says you write well because I know It is not the writing, it’s the idea which people generally like.

Never believe in any personality test. They make u believe that you can never do certain things which otherwise you would have done.

Sometimes, disappear in the crowd, go to some place where you don’t know anybody and nobody knows you. It is a strange feeling. It is fun especially when you can’t speak local dialect and place too is scenic.

Indie Marketing Guru

I Quote

“It is better to pretend like a fool and fool other rather than trying to be smart and getting out smarted.”

Management in Practice :-)

I am not sure how much one can learn from books or journals. But yes I know a lot of tricks to cope up with ever increasing pressure of assignments, quizzes and pre- reads. Some of these techniques are awesome and really works.

Rule of 2354: This funda is specifically designed for objective question papers. When ever you are in the midst of a storm called ignorance, use it. First solve all the objective questions you know (if any). Now take the first unanswered Q and mark 2nd choice as answer. For next question, add 3 to 2 and if there is a fifth choice mark it otherwise deduct the number of choices given and whatever comes mark as the right answer. And the process goes on.

Some may doubt but it works. Every time I don’t use 2354. Sometimes I use 2534. It all depends on mood. Believe me it has worked and I have never got an F in any quiz whether I have studied or not.

Two Minutes: It deals with problem of pre reading the case. Few minutes before the class go to any sincere type guy and ask him to explain summary of the case in 5 statements. It hardly takes 2 minutes. Again spend 2 minutes in scanning the headings of the case and reading last paragraph. Now approach a few gentlemen and explain them a “out of the box” interpretation of case. That’s all; next few minutes just listen to them and keep nodding your head. And you are ready for case discussion.

Role Play”Moderator”: This idea is similar to the two minutes but more useful when case is huge and/or has a lot of numbers. First get a place in CC around 9. Open Orkut and start scrapping your friends. In half an hour around 9.30, you will find except you everybody else in CC is working on case. Now it’s action time. Start a dialogue by saying “The case is really difficult”. Your question will evoke various responses and all those sitting there will start a discussion on the case. Whenever you feel discussion is not moving, steer it by giving some points. Here the fruitfulness of discussion is based on your moderating skills. As soon as discussion finishes, comment “When will I do it?? I am yet to start?” and leave CC. ( It works at other places too)

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Laziness

Few Interesting Characters

I am surrounded with so many great souls that I can write a book on each of them. Here a very brief info on some of those (all despos)

I wanna be your Un*******

This guy is a chupa rustam. Some of his contradictory statements are “I don’t like gals” and “I want a girlfriend”. This fucking asshole will go for jogging in the rain in a hope to impress a girl.

Jab bhi koi ladki dekhhoon

This guy has had around 6 accidents in last one year. This fucker is so fortunate that every time he escaped without a single injury. Its other thing that now his vehicle is no better than a cart. Reason for accidents??? This so called “not interested in girls” type was so engrossed in admiring beautiful kanyas that he forgot that he is driving on wrong side. Interesting part is that recently he had an accident where he got hurt badly and this time there was no girl around.

Lovology mein First, Baaki Sabmei Fail

This guy has conducted more surveys than any Brandscan Project lead can think of. In every 15 days, he will prepare a questionnaire and go to some college. No points for guessing that questionnaire is related to some girls’ product. He is so regular in some colleges that some people think he is a student of that college.

Aaja Meri Gaadi mein Beth Ja

Biggest despo. A fin guru. He openly says “I want a GF desperately”. His timings are all planned. He knows which girl is attending which lecture and when she will be free. His entry and exit in a party are very well planned. Good in befriending girls. But sadly lacks energy/ strategy to convert. Probably, The best business plan he can think of is EFGA(Exclusive for girls Auto). The song he hates most is “ bhaiya mere rakhi ke bandhan ko nibhana”

"We R GR8" Syndrome

After long time. This post is dumbest( Arrant NONSENSE). A bed time childhood story. but it has many hidden clues within it. I wont tell what and their significance. Kinda Puzzle. Find out on your own. Above all that, it's moral is appealing( atleast to me). I am fed up of meeting such "Gr8" personalities in my life.

Long time ago, there was a village say X. People in that village used to live happily. In that country there was an annual wrestling championship. People from X were regular participant in that competition. Although they never won it, at few occasions they were able to reach semifinals. The competition had many competitors so even reaching semifinal was an award in itself especially when a lot of prestige was associated with this event.

This year wrestlers of X started their preparations quite early. They were aiming to win that competition. Wrestlers had total support of village head. Village head(Y) was a good person. He observed that wrestlers in his village were similar in built and used similar tactics like their counterparts in other villages. Y thought probably his wrestlers are less motivated and emotional training could help them in winning. So he came out with a ruling that all the wrestlers were supposed to gather at the bank of river every Sunday evening. Whole of the village gathered. Y narrated stories of their great ancestors. Wrestlers and villagers felt proud after listening this. Wrestlers were highly motivated.That night, everybody was talking about greatness of their ancestors.

It became routine. Every now and then these motivation sessions were arranged. One day a villager took one of his friends from other village to this meeting. Head of the village greeted him. During the course of meeting, head asked the person from the other village to say something to motivate wrestlers. That person happened to be a veteran wrestler. He started informing them about new techniques in wrestling. Head stopped the veteran and asked him to say something about the greatness of his village instead. The visitor complied to Y and spoke about a range of great thing about the village, its traditions and whatever good he knew. These things continued and whenever there was a guest, he was invited and asked to say something great about the village.

Wrestlers were highly confident of bringing trophy this year. Competition started in the Month of March. This year none of them were able to retain their earlier positions. Whole village was dull. Nobody was ready to accept defeats. Head didn’t come out of his home.

Next day, all villagers met at the same place, same time and started same stories again. They started blaming the wrestling championship officials for their performances. The village in few years time stopped participating in these events. They started their own intra-village championship. Reason " We R Gr8 Syndrome"

Shaks stopped for a while